Axl Rose Insults the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ Super Bowl Halftime Performance, is Actually Pretty Funny
In case you’re not up-to-date on this week’s biggest mainstream music scandal: the Red Hot Chili Peppers did not play live during their performance at the Super Bowl halftime show this past Sunday — Living Colour’s Vernon Reid noted that their instruments weren’t even plugged in — and people are freaking out about it because musicians are supposed to, y’know, play, not be Milli Vanilli.
Now Axl Rose has written a short op-ed for Billboard…
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Excuse me, my brain just exploded.
ANYWAY, Axl Rose has, y’know, and not only is it basically coherent (which is a strong contrast with some of the other missives Rose has penned over the years), but it’s actually pretty funny! I mean, okay, it’s not really well-written (“In regard to the internet controversy regarding”? Seriously, bruh?), but still, you get the gist of it and don’t walk away being like “What meds was that dude on?” You can read the entire thing below:
In The Name Of Science
In regard to the internet’s “no wireless” controversy regarding the Red Hot Chili Peppers Superbowl performance as reported on ESPN…
I enjoyed the show and I’ve no idea what the real story is nor would I want to suggest or imply anyone wasn’t actually performing or that what they were playing wasn’t what we actually heard. That said I feel it’s important to always look on the positive side of things and to give the benefit of doubt.
So consider that maybe sometime before their actual performance that rather than use a guitar cord or standard wireless, that in the name of science and for all mankind Flea courageously had a newly invented breakthrough in microchip technology installed in his ass that picked up the frequencies of his bass and transmitted them to his amplifier.
Maybe they all had microchips installed in their asses and not only pick up the frequencies of their instruments but get Direct TV and the internet too! Like Google Glass… Google Ass! They could be “Scientific Pioneers!” Like Buzz Aldrin and shit! True (pardon the pun)ASS-tro-nots! Or like Superbowl crash test dummies for bands kinda like those cars that drive themselves!
And besides… If the band wasn’t really playing or wireless or whatever and Anthony was really singing they may have set a new world record for the largest karaoke audience ever! Awesome!
So relax and show some pride! This is probably all just Google finding new ways to enrich our lives with the selfless volunteering of the Peppers and the ever ongoing creative process of true innovation or perhaps a new lounge bar record of super magnificent proportions and a new pinnacle of human achievement not seen since the sign language guy in South Africa!
God Bless America, the Peppers n’ technology… PN’T!
Ax
Rose later followed this up with a somewhat less-coherent rant on TwitLonger, a service for loud mouths who are literally incapable of conveying their message in 140 characters or less:
I’ll be curious to see if anyone from RHCP bothers to respond. The band has a long and weird history with Rose, who was a self-professed fan in the early 90s when everyone was a self-professed fan (see photo below) before getting into a public tiff with Anthony Kiedis when he tried to poach the band’s then-guitarist, Dave Navarro, for GN’R. (Also because, sooner or later, Rose gets into a public tiff with EVERYONE.) But Kiedis could basically shut Rose down this time with one simple comment: “Maybe we lip synch, but at least we don’t sound like the lard ass in this video!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20ccfjD4ZyQ
[via Metal Insider]
