Cretin are in the Studio. Cretin are in the Studio?!? Cretin are in the Studio!!!

Cretin’s debut, Freakery, was universally beloved by grind fans across the world upon its release in 2006. So, of course, the band never made a follow-up, because FML. Nobody even knew who Emmure were in 2006, and they’ve made five albums since then. And people wonder why I’m an atheist.

But lo! What’s this? CRETIN ARE BACK IN THE STUDIO?!?!?! It’s true! The press release just arrived in my inbox! They’re at Compound Recordings in Santa Cruz, CA making what I’m sure will be a glorious new offering even as I type these very words of praise.

Needless to say, I am fully erect right now.

Bassist Matt Widener comments:

“We have entered Compound Recordings in Santa Cruz, CA to start recording our new album. As usual, we cretins are easily distracted and it takes us years to release anything, so we’re excited to finally crest this stage of the album. Get ready for more cretanic song-stories and proto-grind, backwoods death metal—this time with extra women and a much bigger sound. With Freakery you grinded like it was ‘89, now you’ll grind like it’s, uh, ’91?”

And here’s a photo of Widener and drummer Col Jones tracking the studio while guitarist/vocalist Marissa Martinez looks on (via the band’s Facebook page):

I am fully confident that the wait for Cretin’s sophomore effort will be totally worth it. This album isn’t going to just fuck your face off — it’s going to fuck your entire torso off. More details as we get ’em.

And if you’ve never checked out Freakery before, well, prepare to have your mind blown: