MetalSucks’ Top 25 Most Popular Stories of 2013

For better or worse, these are the things you clicked on in 2013.

We, too, would like it if more folks read — for example — our Unsigned and Unholy columns. But ’tis not to be. You guys like the gossip, love the gossip, eat it up like pudding.

In case you’re wondering about the Top 39 Annoying Things That (Local) Bands Do post from 2007 that inexplicably went viral this past July, there it is.

This is the end of our “Best of 2013” stuff, we promise. On into the future!

#25: Nicko McBrain’s Wife Hit People with Logs and Tried to Stab Them, Too

#24: Review: Megadeth’s Super Collider is a Super Catastrophe

#23: Ex-Korn Drummer David Silveria: Fieldy is “a Cowardly Little Bitch,” and a “Judgmental Self Righteous Idiot”

#22: Is Axl Rose Old and Frail, or Just Pretentious?

#21: Former Lostprophets Vocalist Ian Watkins Sentenced to Thirty-Five Years in Prison for Child Sex Crimes

#20: Why are metal fans hopelessly stuck in the past??? :(

#19: Video from Tim Lambesis’ Arraignment; More Details of Prosecution’s Alleged Case Revealed

#18: You Can Now Play Skyrim as Amon Amarth

#17: OMG PLEASE LORD NO DON’T LET THIS BE TRUE

#16: BREAKING: Ex-Suffokate Vocalist Ricky Hoover Successfully Undergoes Earlobe Reconstructive Surgery

#15: Petition: Get the NFL to Choose Gwar to Perform at the 2015 Super Bowl!

#14: 15 Ways Your Unsigned Band is Doing it Wrong

#13: What are the WORST Metal Albums of 2013?

#12: Drummer Joey Jordison Parts Ways with Slipknot

#11: BREAKING: Varg Vikernes Arrested in France for Being “Likely to Prepare a Large-Scale Act of Terrorism.”

#10: Maria Brink’s Butt Adorns In This Moment’s “Whore” Single Art

#9: Saturday to Monkey Around in the Center Of the Universe

#8: The Best Metal Albums of 2013, As Chosen by Metal Musicians Themselves — Part I: Machine Head’s Robb Flynn

#7: This Emmure Cover is AMAZING

#6: Video: Rings of Saturn Guitarist Lucas Mann’s Criminal Abuse of Guitar Pro

#5: BREAKING: As I Lay Dying’s Tim Lambesis Arrested for Allegedly Attempting to Have His Estranged Wife Murdered

#4: Website Photoshops Dogs in Place of Bass Guitars Because Why Not?

#3: Former Lostprophets Vocalist Ian Watkins Pleads Guilty To Child Sex Charges

#2: Exclusive Premiere: Protest the Hero, “Clarity”

#1: Breaking: Tom Araya to Sit Out Slayer’s Summer Tour, Leaving Kerry King as Sole Original Member; Jason Newsted Announced as Temporary Replacement (April Fool’s!)