Nativ: The Former Members of Attack Attack! are Attack Attacking! One Another
In April, Attack Attack! announced that they were breaking up, and the world rejoiced. President Obama declared a new national holiday, V-AA! Day, the stock market soared, Jews and Muslims lay down their arms and picked up their hugs, beautiful women gave themselves to physically repulsive men and cartoon birds whistling a pleasant tune landed on shoulders across the globe.
Unfortunately, this most joyous of occasions was short-lived — for Attack Attack! did not really break-up. They just took a new name: Nativ. (They left off the “e” at the end to honor their former bassist, John Holgado, who believed that that was, in fact, how one spells the word “native.”) They hoped, we can assume, that this re-branding would allow them some sort of fresh start, or, at the very least, to appear in heavily-populated areas without fear of reprisal from mobs of furious townfolk carrying torches and pitchforks.
Alas, their plan seems to have been derailed by infighting.
Vocalist Phil Druyor — one of FOUR former AA! members to also be in Nativ — has posted the following message on the latter band’s Facebook page (he has also presumably hidden the FB password from his bandmates, ’cause otherwise this surely would have been yanked down by now). Although it’s very long and actually intelligible, it is not without comedic value.
You don’t have to read between the lines to figure out that the two warring members of the band are guitarist Andrew Whiting and drummer Andrew Wetzel, the sole remaining founding members of Attack Attack!. So basically these friends started this band, and the band got really big, and then their fifteen minutes were up, and the friends are now at one another’s throats. Wow. Who could ever have foreseen such a tragic conclusion to this tale? It’s not as though there have been literally hundreds, if not thousands, of books and movies all about how that’s more or less what always happens. VH1 definitely did not create an entire series chronicling just that constantly recurring chain of events. I mean, next you’ll tell me that one of these dudes has a drug or alcohol problem. P’shaw! Yeah right! As if!!!
All kidding aside, I do respect Druyor’s decision to fill in his fans on what’s going on, and to do so in a very humble manner which suggests he understands the importance of those fans. Not as much as I would respect his decision to NOT make music that sounds like Attack Attack!, but baby steps, y’know? I would also suggest that in the future, he try to avoid becoming so anxious/depressed about this situation as to land in the hospital. I understand being passionate about your art, but endangering your health over what amounts to metal’s answer to the New Kids on the Block is just not worth it, bruh.
All my love.
-Axl
[via The PRP]
