“Let Your Reputation of Smell Good Proceed You”: Bret Michaels Makes Cologne Now

Move over, Phil Lewis — Bret Michaels is entering the cut-throat world of perfumery! His new cologne is called Roses & Thorns for no particular reason other than that it reminds everyone who Bret Michaels is, and it’s available for pre-sale now. Here’s the box art, which took someone MAYBE ten minutes to make on Photoshop…

…and here’s the description from the website:

“Make your perimeter excite and ignite the senses. An exhilarating scent with a mysterious kicker…leading to sexy results!

“Let your reputation of smell good proceed you, get the cologne that both men and women love.”

“Let your reputation of smell good proceed you.” Jesus Christ, who wrote this copy, Borat?

Whatever. At least he’s not making a fucking Christmas sweater.