Now You, Too, Can Smell Like Phil Lewis from L.A. Guns

How, do you suppose, the fifty-six-year-old vocalist for a band that was kinda-but-not-really big about a quarter of a century ago smell? (“Like a corpse” is not a bad answer, but let us assume, in this instance, that the vocalist in question has breath in him yet.) I would have guessed it was some combination of booze, fart box, and a touch of sad MAGIRNF (MILF-Aged Groupes I’d Rather Not Fuck).

The answer, according to L.A. Guns frontman Phil Lewis, is frankincense, cirturs, and patchouli. So I wasn’t that far off — aging hair metal musicians do smell like unbathed college freshmen.

From a post on L.A. Guns’ official website in which Lewis speaks about himself in both the first and third person:

Gypsy – the custom fragrance created exclusively by Philip Lewis, using the finest essential oils from around the world. Holy frankincense from the East, refreshing California citrus, and Egyptian patchouli from the mouth of the river Nile are combined to form a unique and distinctive scent for men or women with gypsy in their soul.

This formula was created for my own personal use and perfected over many years to the version I wear today. For the first time, I’ve acquired a small set of limited edition bottles for Gypsy. A little goes a long way with these potent oils – just a small dab is enough for all day. Each 4ml (1/8 oz) black glass vial is adorned with a double-sided Gypsy by Phil Lewis guitar pick label on a silver plated chain, nestled in a black velvet gift pouch. The first 10 bottles will receive the special white fleur de lis cap.

Oils will be mixed and bottled after October 1st, and I look forward to sharing my creation with all the other gypsies around the world.

Cheers,

Philip

Gypsy is priced at twenty-five bucks a bottle, which actually seems reasonable until you consider how little 4ml is (although you can recycle the container to be your new coke vial for extra value!), and that you can buy, like, a thousand hamburgers at White Castle for twenty-five dollars. And that won’t leave you smelling like some damned dirty hippie. So, y’know. Just something to consider.

In related news, former L.A. Guns guitarist Tracii Guns has announced that he will release his own fragrance, also called Gypsy. This one, however, will be made exclusively from the tears he cries every time he thinks about the fact that he quit Guns N’ Roses before they were signed.

[via Bring Back Glam!]