Hope You Have Some Cash Saved Up… ‘Cause Ben Koller from Converge is Selling His Humidifier!

Oh, eBay! Will you ever run out of special wonders for metal fans to buy? I hope not!

After seeing this tweet from Converge drummer Ben Koller earlier this afternoon…

Moving sale. Everything must go! More to come. http://t.co/KzJNutMW8s

— Ben Koller (@BenKoller) September 5, 2013

…I immediately went to Koller’s eBay page to see if he was selling any really cool memorabilia or whatever.

He isn’t (at least not yet) — but he is selling some pretty funny stuff, including a box of used cassettes featuring albums by every band from Poison to Entombed (a man after my own heart!), a VHS copy of The Decline of Western Civilization (the original), his old Nintendo Gamecube, and my personal favorite item:

Yes, it’s true: now your air can be moistened by the same machine that moistened Ben Koller’s air!!! Try not to faint.

Of course, if you really want your molecules to intermingle with Koller’s, you’ll purchase his used Helmet t-shirt, or a vinyl he presumably touched (available records include albums by Tool, Neurosis, and Samhain).

Or you could just go ahead and buy me a present:

Actually, I’m not even kidding now — I am seriously considering trying to outbid all your motherfuckers to get this. I always wanted a Power Glove…

See all of the items Koller has on sale here.