Reckless Speculation as to Why Warbeast were Denied Entry into Canada

Warbeast are going on tour with Phil Anselmo at the end of the month, but Canadian fans won’t get to see ’em, because, according to the band, they can’t get into Canada. Why can’t they get into Canada? “Don’t ask why,” they say, which, with all due respect, was pretty dumb, because now OF COURSE we are all going to ask why. I mean we probably would have just assumed that one of them was arrested for weed once and the Canadians are being real dicks about it, but now that they’ve called attention to it, well… how can we not wonder????

To that end, here is some reckless speculation as to why Warbeast can’t go to Canada:

1. They once publicly declared Canadian beer to be shitty. As a consequence, they were nearly the victims of a lynch mob.
2. Can’t find their passports, getting new ones seems like a real pain in the ass.
3. An illicit affair with Andrea Martin has made things pretty awkward up north.
4. Currency conversion is too much of a hassle.
5. Afraid if they leave the U.S., they’ll never get back in.
6. Still haven’t forgiven Cryptopsy for The Unspoken King.
7. Heard a rumor that in Canada toilets flush upside down,
8. Can’t find Canada on the map.
9. One of them went to Toronto specially because he was under the impression that the age of consent was thirteen. Learned the hard way he was wrong. 
10. It’s just too fucking boring there.

Add your own reckless speculation in the comments section below!