Eat Pizza. Worship Satan. Listen to Axeslasher.

Hey! Hey, you! Wanna listen to a metal band that:

• Plays awesome deathrash.
• Is obsessed with pizza.
• Is obsessed with EC Comics, the old Mars Attacks! cards (I’m guessing), and, as The Deciblog puts it, “80s sadism.”

Of course you do! I mean, you already have so much in common. If your friend wanted to set you up with someone with those shared interests, you’d probably bring a prophylactic along on the first date.

So brush your teeth, comb your hair, turn your stained t-shirt inside-out, and douse yourself with Axe body spray — ’cause the aforementioned Deciblog is now streaming a brand new Axeslasher track, “Woodland Tortuary.” This is the kinda song you’ll fall in love with the second the music kicks in, so righteous is the riffage. And as a bonus, the band has included an EC-inspired lyrics comic (seriously!), because they apparently hate “annoying lyric videos created only to generate ad revenue.” And as a bonus bonus, they’re also doing a video contest on Vine.

Check out the song, lyric comic, and contest details here. “Woodland Tortuary” will appear on Axeslasher’s new EP, Anthology of Terror, Vol. 1, which will be out later this year on Antithetic Records.