Fear, Emptiness, Decibel: Floor’s Self-Titled Album Enters the Hall of Fame

Before there were blogs there were these things called magazines, and the only metal magazine we still get excited about reading every month is Decibel. Here’s managing editor Andrew Bonazelli…

If you’ve ever been in a touring band that’s played a show to two people, take heart: you could be the next Floor. Of course, you should probably go down the checklist and make sure you have a truly original component to your sound, and then consult your crystal ball to verify that your arsenal of hooky, heavy delights will age super well while your singer forms an awesome crossover offshoot that everybody loves. So, yeah, if you don’t have anything as kick-ass as the “bomb string,” you didn’t perfect sludge-pop, and your frontdude isn’t Steve Brooks, you should probably just break up. We don’t need any more bands. Well, our demo column does, but why subject your hard work to Kevin Stewart-Panko’s haikus?

Floor’s self-titled debut is Decibel’s Hall of Fame this month. Like Arrested Development, they were around way too briefly, admired by cool people but not enough normals to sustain their lifespan, and now everybody’s equally excited about a v.2 that had better not suck. I would blow them even more, but Robotic Empire never sent me a gratis version of that fucking amazing box set that came out three years ago. (I do, however, have six hard copies of the most recent Smash Mouth album, if anyone’s interested.) Anyway, if you’re inexplicably not in the know, read all about Floor in the Hanneman issue, try to catch “Scimitar” or “Return to Zero” live somewhere, and enjoy getting your skull blown.

The July 2013 issue of Decibel also features Gojira, Children of Bodom, The Black Dahlia Murder, and an awesome Royal Thunder flexi disc. You can purchase it here. But why not just get a full subscription to ensure that you never miss an issue?