Sebastian Bach is Doing Another Reality Show

Sebastian Bach may have just hit a new low in his desperate search for attention. I’m not going to pretend I’m not pleased as punch.

Because singing-related reality programs (American Idol, The Voice, The X Factor, etc.) and celebrities-doing-stupid-shit reality programs (The Celebrity Apprentice, Dancing with the Stars, Skating with the Stars, Queefing with the Stars, etc.) are all the rage now, ABC has announced a six-episode reality program combining the two: Sing Your Face Off will feature five celebrity contestants who will learn and perform a song by a famous artist each week. And in case you’re super dense and somehow don’t see this huge plot twist coming, Bach is going to be one of those contestants.

In other words, for this show, every week, Bach will learn to sing someone else’s song. Which he should be really good at, because in a certain sense, he’s been learning other people’s songs for years (he doesn’t play an instrument and therefore can’t write his own music).

This would be strange enough news on its own, but, of course, it gets even more bizarre: Bach’s fellow contestants will be soap opera actress/plastic surgery mishap Lisa Rinna, Toronto Raptors shooting guard Landry Fields, the fifteen year old girl who played Chris Rock’s daughter in the movie Grown Ups, and… Jon Lovitz.

Jon. Fucking. Lovitz.

And on top of all that, the judges are going to be 80s teen idol Debbie (excuse me, Deborah) Gibson and Daryl Hammond, who was on Saturday Night Live for a billion seasons.

Holy shit, can you imagine if Baz LOSES? Only the girl from China Anne McClain, the girl from Grown Ups, is identified as a “singer”… and Baz has been in the business since she was still sperm and egg. AND THIS IS A FUCKING SINGING COMPETITION. So basically, if Baz doesn’t win, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!, it’s gonna be total schadenfreude time here at The MetalSucks Mansion.

So yeah I usually hate these kinds of shows, but I am definitely watching this shit. I don’t know if there’s going to be a viewer-voting aspect to it in the vein of American Idol, but I hope that there is. #teamlovitz

No air date has been announced yet, but the show could apparently be on as early as this summer. THANK GOD. I’d hate to waste nice weather being outside instead of watching Sebastian Bach make a total ass out of himself.

[via Entertain Me Weakly]