“ICPness”: Someone Wrote a Deathcore Song About How Bad Juggalos Suck

I’m feeling pretty conflicted about “ICPness,” the new anti-Juggalo song from Ashton Butcher. I definitely appreciate the band’s way with words — I don’t mind admitting that the song’s very title brought a smile to my face, as did the lyrics, which includes such witticisms as “I’d like to watch all you juggalos/ Grab a batch of your hatchets and juggle those” and the clever turn of phrase “Clown’s sydnrome” (I could live without all the homophobia, though.)

On the other hand, as you might have guessed based on the band’s moniker, Ashton Butcher really just play generic deathcore. That being the case, I don’t really enjoy “ICPness” as a song. It’s possible that the members of the band actually intend to be ironic, but if that’s the case, the need to go much further with the gag. Like I said, right now the music sounds generic — but if they intend this as satire, it needs to be truly and outrageously silly and awful, not just comptent-but-uninteresting. Also, like I said, ditching the anti-gay remarks would be terrific.

Still, I think this is worth checking out at least once, if only for a giggle. The song and lyrics are below:

YOU CAN PAINT YOUR FACES BLACK AND WHITE
BUT IT WILL NOT HIDE THE UGLINESS INSIDE
WORSHIPPING TWO WHITE TRASH MALES
WHO CAN’T COMPREHEND MAGNETIC FIELDS

I’D LIKE TO WATCH ALL YOU JUGGALOS
GRAB A BATCH OF YOUR HATCHETS AND JUGGLE THOSE

YOU ARE NOT A GIANT FAMILY, STRONG AND CLOSE
YOU ARE PARASITES TO THIS WORLD, YOU ARE FAT AND GROSS
GO TIE A NOOSE AROUND YOUR JUGGULAR THROAT
THE DARK CARNIVAL IS NEAR, YOU ARE FUCKING TOAST

YOU ARE NOT A GIANT FAMILY, STRONG AND CLOSE
YOU ARE PARASITES TO THIS WORLD, YOU ARE FAT AND GROSS
GO TIE A NOOSE AROUND YOUR JUGGULAR THROAT
STEP UP YOU CLOWNS, COME AT ME JUGGABRO

/* Freestyled rant about ICP */

EEUH

GRAB SOME CYANIDE
AND RUB IT IN YOUR EYES
I HOPE YOU FUCKING DIE
I HOPE YOU FUCKING DIE

GRAB SOME CYANIDE
AND RUB IT IN YOUR EYES
I HOPE YOU FUCKING DIE
INSANE CLOWN PUSSIES

YOU TAKE WHAT YOU CAN GET
YOU ARE ALL FULL OF SHIT
YOU WILL GET NO RESPECT
SUCKING ON EACH OTHER’S DICKS

WHY DO YOU EXIST?
I’LL PUNCH YOU WITH MY FISTS
ASSUME THE GENUFLECT
INSANE CLOWN PUSSIES

MENTALLY INCAPABLE, YOU HAVE CLOWN’S SYNDROME
AND ALL YOU JUGGALETTES ARE FUCKING BIMBOS

YOU ARE FAYGOTS
SUCK A GAY DICK
YOU ARE FAYGOTS
SUCK A GAY DICK

YOU CAN PAINT YOUR FACES BLACK AND WHITE
BUT IT WILL NOT HIDE THE UGLINESS INSIDE
YOU BELONG TO A CULT OF PERSONALITY
BECAUSE YOU CAN’T ESTABLISH INDIVIDUALITY

MENTALLY INCAPABLE, YOU HAVE CLOWN’S SYNDROME
EACH OF YOU ARE TAINTED, GET OUT OF THE GENE POOL

Thanks: Christopher