The Westboro Baptist Church Will Employ Most Powerful Weapon in God’s Arsenal to Picket Jeff Hanneman’s Funeral
I was, understandably I hope, a little cranky last week after the Westboro Baptist Church declared that God killed Jeff Hanneman for being a sinner. (Articles like this one, which asserts that “a weak-willed servant of Satan drank himself to death after a necrotic spider bite took away his ability to strum the Devil’s chords,” didn’t help my mood any.) But now that the WBC has announced that they will indeed picket Hanneman’s funeral, I’m actually feeling a lot calmer. Why, you ask? Because:
WBC to #picket funeral of Jeff Hanneman, singing our #CrazyTrain parody at full voice: mp3twit.com/dHM #PartyForSlayer cc: @slayer
— Westboro Baptist (@WBCSays) May 3, 2013
So, let me get this straight (no pun intended): the best way to celebrate the death of one of Satan’s minions is with parody lyrics??? Like, what “Weird Al” Yankovic does? Isn’t that a little, I dunno… silly? I mean, granted, I haven’t read The Bible in a few years, but I don’t recall any section of Exodus where Moses combats Pharoh with a gag version of a popular radio hit.
Also, why is okay to use the music of another one of The Devil’s stooges, Ozzy Osbourne, to do God’s work? Does He love sophomoric satire or something? And, if so, can’t we assume that He’s a MetalSucks reader and therefore probably not a fan of the Westboro Baptist Church?
Whatever the case, like I said, I’m no longer angry at the WBC. Sure, what they’re planning to do is incredibly disrespectful… but it’s also incredibly lame. This feels like a revenge plot hatched by the characters on Saved by the Bell or something. I guess if their lives are really so sad that they have nothing better to do than stand around outside cemeteries singing this stuff, we shouldn’t deny them their fun.
Below is the WBC’s version of “Crazy Train” if you’re curious to hear just how pathetic this thing is (answer: very).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=RjAuhrLaCIc
