In Which We Made Dildos Shaped Like Our Heads

The MetalSucks Worst Week Ever Playlist: April 22 — April 26, 2013

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And now, this week’s top stories:

• We debuted new music from Dark Tranquillity, Scale the Summit, and Howl.
• We did not debut the incredibly shitty new Megadeth single.
• Gwar’s Oderus Urungus also thinks the new Megadeth single blows.
• Ghost released their own line of sex toys.
• Attack Attack! announced that they’re breaking up!!! But so did Barn Burner.
• Jimmy Kimmel demonstrated how music fans love to pretend to know obscure bands.
• This short film reimagines Kiss’ “Beth” as a two-sided phone conversation between Peter Criss and his wife.
• Slipknot’s Joey Jordison is working on a new project with Strapping Young Lad’s Jed Simon and Darkest Hour’s Kris Norris.
• Rob Zombie’s latest film, The Lords of Salem, tanked at the box office.
• The Melvins announced a thirtieth anniversary tour.

Have a terrific weekend, folks. See ya Monday!