The Melvins Turn Dirty Thirty

The Melvins are turning thirty this year, and they’ll celebrate the anniversary the way most bands celebrate such anniversaries: with a big headlining tour. And this announcement led me to ask some really important questions, like: do you think bands get neurotic about turning thirty the way people do? Like, did Buzz Osborne call Ozzy Osbourne and be all, “Dude, I’m so depressed, we’re getting older and closer to death,” and Ozzy had to be all, “No way, kid, your thirties are SO MUCH BETTER than your twenties, don’t sweat it!!!” Do you think conversations like that actually go down?

While you ponder this pressing issue, below are dates, courtesy of Lambgoat. Support will come from Honky.

7/12 Phoenix, AZ @ Crescent Ballroom
7/13 Albuquerque, NM @ The Launchpad
7/15 Denver, CO @ The Summit Music Hall
7/17 Omaha, NE @ The Waiting Room
7/18 Rock Island, IL @ Rock Island Brewing Company
7/20 Minneapolis, MN @ Bash 13 (Grumpy’s) w/ Mudhoney, Negative Approach
7/21 Milwaukee, WI @ Turner Hall Ballroom w/ Mudhoney
7/22 Chicago, IL @ Double Door
7/23 St. Louis, MO @ The Firebird
7/25 Cleveland, OH @ The Grog Shop
7/26 Detroit, MI @ Small’s
7/27 Syracuse, NY @ The Westcott Theater
7/29 Boston, MA @ Paradise Rock Club
7/30 Hartford, CT @ Arch Street Tavern
7/31 Brooklyn, NY @ Venue TBA
8/1 Philadelphia, PA @ Underground Arts
8/2 Baltimore, MD @ Ottobar
8/3 Washington, DC @ 9:30 Club
8/4 Carrboro, NC @ Cat’s Cradle
8/5 Atlanta, GA @ The Loft at Center Stage Atlanta
8/7 New Orleans, LA @ One Eyed Jack’s
8/8 Houston, TX @ Warehouse Live – Studio
8/9 Austin, TX @ Mohawk
8/10 Dallas, TX @ Trees
8/13 Salt Lake City, UT @ Club Sound
8/14 Boise, ID @ Neurolux
8/16 Seattle, WA @ Neumo’s
8/19 Vancouver, BC @ Commodore Ballroom
8/20 Portland, OR @ Wonder Ballroom
8/22 San Francisco, CA @ Slim’s