Sh*t Flows Downhill: The Marilyn Manson-Avril Lavigne-Steel Panther Connection

This is how I ended up having two things to write about Avril fucking Lavigne:

1. Marilyn Manson is going to do a guest appearance on her new album. The track on which he’ll appear is called “Bad Girl,” and Lavigne says it’s “a heavier song.” But you have to wonder what the hell that even means. Even when he was still making fun albums, I dunno that I ever would have described Manson’s music as “heavy.” And at least based on what I’ve heard of her past efforts, there are songs by The Carpenters that would make Lavigne’s tunes sound heavy. Still, I look forward to making fun of “Bad Girl” as soon as it leaks online.
2. Wouldn’t having Steel Panther play your wedding be pretty much the coolest thing ever? Alas, you’d have to be rich to make it happen, and Avril Lavigne and her betrothed, Nickelsuck’s Chad Stupid Ugly Fuckface, are very rich. So Steel Panther are going to play their wedding. This isn’t the first time Steel Panther have allowed Lavigne to sully their good name (see video below, in which Lavigne gives a truly horrifying vocal performance), but I still find it heartbreaking to hear. Unless they’re really going to bukkake all over Lavigne just as Chad walks into the honeymoon sweet to consumate the marriage with his new wife. In that case, I approve of their plan wholeheartedly.

And, hey, I don’t mean to cast dispersions on Lavigne’s good name, but does this make Marilyn Manson and Steel Panther eskimo brothers? If so, it might be the only time the Steel Panther dudes are more in danger of catching an STD than spreading one.