Lordi Ran Out of Toilet Paper
In Lordi’s new video for “The Riff,” we meet a blonde taking a dump* as she realizes she’s run out of toilet paper. She’s so dumb that until she sees an ad for toilet paper in the newspaper she’s been reading while doing her business, it had not occurred to her that, yes, a grocery store is a good place to purchase more toilet paper. So she puts on a corset and thong — y’know, her grocery shopping clothes — and goes to the store. Her ass looks great, especially considering that it has still gone unwiped. She gets a shopping basket, because you’d need a shopping basket to carry a roll of toilet paper from the aisle to the cash register. Because she’s in no apparent rush to clean her shit-caked anus, she casually browses some products that aren’t toilet paper, and shows particular interest in possibly purchasing some kids’ cereal. She’s considering this product when a zombie attacks her. Luckily, some dude with a gun comes to her rescue and kills the zombie. The dude is then promptly attacked by several more zombies, and the blonde watches as he’s mauled to death. While dying, he knocks over some toilet paper. The blonde sneaks over, grabs a roll, and makes her way to the cashier…
…but the joke is on her, because the cashier is a zombie! AHHHH!!! The blonde gets killed. The end.
Y’know, it’s really amazing that the one woman in Lordi decided she didn’t wanna be in the band anymore. It just seems like these dudes really “get” women, doesn’t it?
“The Riff” appears on Lordi’s new album, To Beast or Not to Beast (correct answer: not to beast), which is out now on AFM.
*Of course it’s possible she’s just peeing, but I don’t think so, because a) why would Lordi go for a piss joke when they have a shit joke?, and b) she’s been reading the paper, which suggests she’s been on there for awhile. That’s my thinking, anyway.
[via Metal Underground]
