Chainsaw Penis: The Worst Band in the World

It was recently brought to my attention that this band exists. I really think you should click the link before you read on because I need a moment to think of words. According to their Facebook page, they’re the self-proclaimed “Worst Band in the World.” Oh come now, anyone who samples Nicolas Cage butchering The Wicker Man can’t be all that bad…

Then again, I have been known to make some mistakes. Not frequently, but every once in a while.

Chainsaw Penis describe themselves as the “world’s premier technical progressive blackened transcendental shitdeathgrindcorecore ocarina band. With ocarina and jazz influences. Ocarinacore for short.” While you may be tempted to take them seriously, their bio uses the word “ocarina” twenty-seven times, and they clearly state that anyone who likes them ought to get their head and ears checked. Methinks the gentlemen doth protest too much.

But it’s a good method for waylaying any hurt feelings; announce from the get-go how utterly terrible you are and just roll with it. Personally, I’m just as surprised as they are that the name “Chainsaw Penis” wasn’t already taken.

If you have a hankering for a night of ocarina and Polish lager, and are located in Birmingham. Check ’em out. They actually have a show on the sixteenth. God help us all.