Funniest Song Ever of the Day: Axecuter’s “Metal is Invincible”

I have so many questions about Axecuter, their new album Metal is Invincible, and that album’s title track, that I hardly know where to begin.

1. Why “Axecuter” and not “Axecutioner”? The name isn’t taken and it’s way betterer.
2. Did the creators of the album cover think we wouldn’t understand the dude on the right is a square unless he had money sticking out of his breast pocket and was holding more money?
3. Did the creators of the album cover think we wouldn’t understand the dude on the left is metal unless he had on a spiked glove, a spike armband, a second spiked armband with an upside-down cross on it, a patched vest, and a bullet belt?
4. What happened to your hair, brah?
5. Isn’t arm wrestling with a spiked glove cheating?
6. Even with that handicap, how come the creators of the album cover didn’t think it was important to make it clear that Mr. Metal is going to win the arm wrestling match? Because right now, it really looks like it could go either way.
7. Where is this arm wrestling match taking place? At the Photo Hut in Walmart?
8. So is the idea that if Metal Dude wins the match, he gets Square Business Dude’s money? And if so, what does Square Business Dude get if Metal Dude loses? The destruction of metal? Why does he care? Metal Dude’s bullet belt? Why doesn’t he just take that money and go buy his own bullet belt?
9. Square Business Dude does not look scared by Metal Dude at all. Mostly, he looks confused. I’m guessing because he’s a smart guy who went to college and got a good job and makes a lot of money instead of looking like a Cabbage Patch Doll with a skullet and Hirax Halloween costume. I mean, I’d be pretty confused by the site of Metal Dude, too.
10. Are the creators of the album cover aware that winning an arm wrestling match isn’t the same thing as being invincible? Is there another, stronger image that they maybe could have chosen to convey that message?
11. Black Sabbath’s first album came out forty-three years ago next month. Do we really need to keep declaring that metal is here to stay? It makes the metal community look like a guy who buys a Harley because he’s overcompensating for a small penis. I mean, imagine how ridiculous it would be if a modern composer wrote a symphony entitled “Classical Music 4 Eva.”
12. When you say you’ve been metal since the day you were born, do you mean your parents were metal fans? Or are you exaggerating for dramatic purposes? And if you’re not and your parents really did get you into metal, then don’t you need to drop the whole “Ooh look how rebellious I am!” schtick?
13. Generally speaking, ARE YOU FOR FUCKING REAL???

[via Metal Underground]