Leading Independent Music Retailer VICTORY RECORDS Launches Line of Christmas Sweaters

This past February, leading independent music retailer VICTORY RECORDS put together some package deals for Valentine’s Day; then, in April, for no related reason (we were just feelin’ silly), we cracked wise about the idea of Big Four yarmulkes. But now Victory has pretty much blown both previous concepts for holiday-themed and religously-themed merch right the fuck out of the water: they’re selling Christmas sweaters. (They’re calling them “Holiday Sweaters,” which is nice, but let’s be real here: the Jews wear a completely different kind of ugly clothing around the holidays.)

I know I should hate this idea, but I don’t — I actually think it’s hilarious. If they made one for any of the bands on their roster that I like (God Forbid, Pathology, Jungle Rot, etc.), I would definitely buy one to wear to every holiday party I attend this season. They’d still make pretty funny gifts for friends, though; now that I think of it, the fact that they’re all for artists I don’t like actually makes it funnier.

Here are the other sweaters they make in addition to the Emmure and Otep ones up top… the actual Victory one is my least favorite, just because it doesn’t really look like a Christmas sweater the way the others do. My favorite may be the one for Continents, ’cause it really looks like those reindeer are running a train on each other, doesn’t it?

The sweaters are twenty bucks a pop. There are t-shirt versions for thirteen dollars, but I don’t think those are nearly as droll. You can get ’em here.