In Which We Blogged at Half-Speed

Before we get to the week’s highlights, lemme ask you: have you signed up for the MetalSucks email list? It’s the awesomest way to stay up-to-date on all things MetalSucks, and we promise not to spam you. And don’t forget to follow us on Facebook and on Twitter.  You can also friend me  and friend Vince, then follow me on Twitter and follow Vince on Twitter!

And now, here are the top stories from this week:

• Rings of Saturn were accused of recording their albums at half-speed. Then they denied it. Then their ex-drummer asserted that it was true. Then they denied it again. Then I dropped to my knees and thanked Christ that Vince had taken the lead on this story and I didn’t have to keep writing about it.
• Cattle Decapitation dropped off of their current tour with Six Feet Under following a physical altercation between frontmen Chris Barnes and Travis Ryan.
• Since Ted Nugent vowed that if President Obama were re-elected he’d be dead or in prison within a year, we decided to start counting down until one of those things happens.
• Speaking of Nugent: we got reactions to Obama’s re-election from The Nuge, Dave Mustaine, and Oderus Urungus
• Drummer Shannon Lucas split with The Black Dahlia Murder.
• We spoke to Corey Taylor from Slipknot and Stone Sour and ex-The Haunted guitarist Anders Bjorler.
• We fell in love with Pug Destroyer.
• We got excited that Dave Grohl is gonna play drums on the new Queens of the Stone Age album.
• We watched the best review of the new Neurosis album imaginable.
• We enjoyed a mash-up of Dream Theater and “Gangnam Style.” 

I hope you all have a fantastic weekend full of relatively-safe debauchery. See ya Monday!