Dave Mustaine, Oderus Urungus, and Ted Nugent Comment on President Obama’s Re-Election

Now that President Barack Obama has been elected to a second term, hopefully we can put all some of this political strife the country (and the metal community) has been enduring behind us for a while. Probably not, but hopefully.

In the meantime, three of metal’s most politically outspoken icons have all weighed in on the Prez’s re-election. Here’s a rundown:

• Gwar’s Oderus Urungus, being typically provocative in the best possible way (he’s like the Sergeant D. of metal vocalists), tells Rock Hard Live, “I’m fucking sick of white-ass, motherfucking rich people running this fucking country… The United States Of America, as much as it is ‘the land of the free and the home of the brave,’ we did drop two atomic bombs on innocent people, we committed genocide on Native Americans and we built our economy up with slavery. And it’s about time that a different color took over, I think. I think white people everywhere are very scared tonight, and I’m really stoked about that.” While I agree with Mr. Urungus in theory, I think he’s probably giving Obama too much credit — the truth is, there are a lot of (racist) white people who are scared of Obama, despite the fact that nothing he has done thus far in his political career has been especially scary or outside the norm of what most politicians do. It would be great to see Obama get a little bit more radical in his second term, but something tells me that ain’t gonna happen.
• Ted Nugent, who has predicted that he will either be dead or in prison within the next 364 days (I’m hoping for prison, preferably with a cellmate who is especially rapey and of whichever race scares The Nuge the most), unsurprisingly handled the news of Mitt Romney’s defeat with the grace of a pig in high heels and the class of a redneck who becomes the legal guardian of a teenage girl so he can fuck her: Noisecreep reports that he took to Twitter to call Obama supporters “soulless,” “pimp whores” (an insult which I don’t quite understand — is he trying to say that whores who don’t have pimps are superior, or…?), “welfare brats,” and “subhuman varmint” who believe that “others must pay for their obesity booze cellphones birthcontrol abortions & lives.” He also said the country has now committed “economic and spiritual suicide.” In other words, he went out of his way to prove Oderus’ point. So I can’t even really be mad at Nugent, who increasingly seems like a cranky old coot whose lawn the neighborhood kids dare one another to sneak onto.  I mean, he’s SO TORTURED by the outcome of the election, just thinking about how much (wholly unwarrented!) mental anguish he’s experiencing right now makes me so happy that if I had pixie dust I could fly.
• Meanwhile, Metal Injection reports that Dave Mustaine, who used this election cycle to out himself as a bigot of such magnitude as to make Nugent look like Martin Luther King, is now trying to backtrack, and play it off like all of his comments were misinterpreted attempts at humor. He tells Rolling Stone, “You can’t joke around very much anymore without people misinterpreting what you’re saying,” and admits that “I do say some stuff that’s… a little vulgar.” Which would be like me saying that I do say stuff that’s a little sarcastic — it’s a Grand Canyon-sized understatement. But that really doesn’t bother me as much as his claim that he was just joking when he made assertions such as the one that African women should “put a plug in it” (“it,” in this instance, meaning their vaginas). There are definitely ways to make incredibly sensitive and not-at-all-inherently-funny topics into jokes (example 1, example 2, example 3), but nothing Mustaine ever said, ever, seemed like a gag, and even if those comments were meant to be humorous, well, he failed. Like Frankie Palmeri, he either has a complete misunderstanding of what satire is, or he’s just lying to try and cover his ass.  I’m guessing it’s the latter; I keep hearing more and more stories about Mustaine having professional doors slammed in his face as a result of his recent antics, and I’d wager he’s starting to get nervous. Or maybe communist homosexual muslims are holding his family hostage and making him ostensibly apologize for all his comments. Who knows, really?