WHAT… THE… F*CKING… F*CK….

Yeah my brain pretty much melted when I saw that, too. In fact, I had to click through the link just to make sure my mind wasn’t playing tricks on me and I was understanding the tweet correctly.

I was:

This isn’t all that surprising, really; Kid Rock is rich kid who likes to pretend that he’s white trash, which makes the Romney/Ryan ticket ideal for him, and Paul Ryan is obviously completely desperate to prove that he’s hip, because Mitt Romney is slightly less charismatic than a life-size cardboard cutout of Mitt Romney. (In case you didn’t notice, the opening line in the text of the contest is, “Paul Ryan and Mitt Romney may have different playlists, but both can appreciate America’s rock and roll tradition.” Which we immediately know was written either by an ESL student or someone who does not actually listen to rock n’ roll.) So they’re a perfect pairing, really. Not that that makes this any less strange or hilarious.

The first response to this tweet was some dude from California saying “I can’t think of anything that would disgrace a guitar more than a Paul Ryan autograph,” and while I’m tempted to say “Yes you can, a Kid Rock autograph,” I’m actually not sure that’s true. Kid Rock literally made his career singing gobbledygook, but at least he never had any actual power, and the fact that he employed his own Mini-Me could be construed as charitable; Paul Ryan, on the other hand, could end up in a position of incredible influence, and isn’t really doing anything good for anyone but himself and the makers of PX90. So, congrats to Kid Rock on finally finding someone I loathe more than Kid Rock.

I would actually rather have a Pet Rock signed by the real Paul Ryan. If anyone starts such a contest, please let me know! I’d love to enter.

And in conclusion, I’d just like to add:

-AR

Thanks: Tim Sherry