SOCIAL STUFF IS TUFF

OK gotta get this out of my system here before we continue on with the day, HERE WE GO:

Guys. I have to be honest. Its hard to write these articles. I’m constantly battling whether I should be really unapologetically opinionated and risk losing the respect of people who don’t agree with me or not do that, but then I remember I don’t really want to hang out with those people anyway.

And you see? That’s not even entirely true! I have this unfortunate condition where I might kind of love literally everyone. So if you are ever hurt by my words or feel challenged by me consider it TOUGH LOVE. And don’t think I’m ever trying to shame you, I’m just telling it like it is because I CARE ABOUT YOU. Get it?

Also there’s a simple reason we’re all mean to each other sometimes and for me its like I see someone being a certain way and I project myself onto them and my inner fear that I have the capacity to act like that makes me be mean towards them! Like I’m scolding my own humanity or something! Amirite?!

Also last words of kind of ranting wisdom. We all judge everything and everyone around us. It’s literally impossible not to. You see something and you judge the situation. In a civilized society though it is when we assume our judgement to be correct that we fail. If I see a young man in gym shorts and a flat rim hat with neck tats and judge him based on my experience with people that look like that to be a douche that wants to beat me up to prove his heterosexuality then there’s nothing I can do about that judgement. It happened without my control. HOWEVER. If I go up to this fellow and say to him: “White Chapel sucks and so do you!” then that will be me assuming that this life-form in front of me is in all respects definitely just like previous encounters with similar looking life-forms. And I never gave him a chance to prove his intentions or say a word to me. If I go forth and treat him with the same respect that any person or life-form deserves at first encounter then I will be assuming that my demonic judgements are wrong, and that I’m aware of my own bias and consciously making an effort to deny it’s rude tendencies. So this whole “Don’t judge people” thing is incorrectly worded I believe. I think it’s suppose to be “Don’t assume your survival-instinct-driven-judgements are correct and give everyone a fair chance to prove them wrong.” I think we all just got confused over the semantics of “judgement” but I’m sure the intention was the same.

OK ok one last bit of relationship advice (not romantic, just general relationships). Everything in life is about intentions. If someone does something we should always make our decision or reaction to it based on whether it was bad or good intentions. If I bring you a coffee hoping you burn yourself then I had bad intentions. But if I bring you a coffee hoping to brighten up your day I had good intentions. See how simple it is?

Maybe not though. If your friend burns your house down but was trying to start a fire in your backyard to surprise you with s’mores then he had good intentions. Even if he was an idiot…

So ask yourself. When you do something, what are your true intentions? Are they self serving, or genuinely selfless? Do your friends/girlfriends/boyfriends/spouse/parents truly have your best interests at heart when they do something for you? And do you for them? What’s the true intention?

Let’s discuss it.

-Anthony Gobeille

p.s. I don’t hate White Chapel, I actually have no idea what they sound like these days.