SOME KID MADE A (REALLY CRAPPY) MOVIE ABOUT VARG VIKERNES
This is supposed to be Euronymous
In 2009, some kid made a two-part short film called Dunkelheit: The Tale of Varg Vikernes for his high school senior film project. Seriously.
And part of me feels really bad for making fun of it; for one thing, like I said, the guy who made it was a senior in high school, so he’s obviously not gonna be Christopher Nolan just yet, and for another thing, high school-level arts programs in this country have fallen into such abysmal state that we should probably not do anything to discourage this dude from honing his craft.
That being said, he’s old enough to be tried as an adult, I’ve known eighteen years who made short films way better than this, and his sympathetic portrayal of Varg Vikernes is incredibly troubling, so, yeah, I am definitely going to make fun of this. Where to begin?
- Kids doing Norwegian accents ≠ a good idea
- Kids in fake facial hair ≠ a good idea
- Letting other kids use fake facial hair but for some reason allowing the dude who plays Blackthorn to use a shit ton of gel in his spiked hair ≠ a good idea
- Treating Euronymous like some kind of Bond villain ≠ a good idea
- Treating Varg Vikernes as an action hero ≠ a good idea
Obviously, it’s numbers four and five that disturb me the most. I don’t know what happened between Varg Vikernes and Euronymous; no one does except for Varg Vikernes, and it’s hard to take him at his word because every time he opens his mouth, he comes off as a complete nutjob. But even if for some reason you take Vikernes at his word that he acted in self-defense and consequently you did want to take a sympathetic stance towards him — and plenty of movies empathize with bad guys (e.g., pretty much ever mob movie ever made), so it’s not completely unthinkable that this could work — having him chase Euronymous with a knife, seeking righteous vengeance, is really not the way to do it.
This thing is practically a propaganda film! There’s never any mention of the fact that Vikernes is a total bigot, and although Euronymous’ body had twenty-three cut wounds, here, Vikernes is portrayed as only stabbing him twice. Vikernes has always claimed that most of those cuts were from falling on broken glass during their fight, but the police have never bought it, and I tend to side with the police on this one, ’cause I’m assuming they can tell the difference between a cut caused by glass and a cut caused by, y’know, violent stabbings with a knife.
ANYWAY, so, yeah, I hope the kid who made this has done some serious growing-up in the past three years… but for all I know, he’s still walking around, la-di-da, thinking that Varg Vikernes is just an all-around swell guy.
Watch:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWbB53ZnsRg&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUS4MlSKPUg
-AR
