KISS/MÖTLEY CRÜE PYRO TRUCK GOES DOWN HARDER THAN VINCE NEIL ON A STRIP CLUB STAGE

Kiss and Mötley Crüe are currently in the midst of their co-headlining tour, but fans in Clarkston, Michigan who were s’posed to see ’em last night were probably disappointed to learn that the show had to be postponed for a day — because a truck carrying pyro for the two bands flipped on the freeway, spilling gear everywhere (see photo above).

Kind of amazingly, the driver is apparently okay, which allows me to make light of this situation immediately instead of having to wait a couple of years. So:

What I really can’t stop thinking about is what it must have been like for the other cars around the truck to a) see the thing flip, and b) spill equipment for two of the biggest rock bands in the world all over the freeway. I don’t mind telling you that I almost certainly would have shit my pants; I also don’t mind telling you that my first reaction to the news was, “Did anyone pull over to steal some souvenirs?” I mean, really, how often does an opportunity to get a five finger discount on such memorabilia come along? It’s not as though next week you might be cross the street and pass Mick Mars just as one of his Strats falls out of his pocket and he fails to notice, y’know? I mean, I’m aware that none of this equipment was anything as cool as a guitar owned by Mick Mars, but you could probably throw a pretty rad party in your backyard with all that pyro.

ANYWAY, our pal Bram over at Metal Insider asserts that  “if the accident only means that there’s a few less explosions for the rest of the tour, that’s perfectly acceptable,” which says to me that Bram has not seen Kiss live in many years. Do you have any idea how boring it would be to watch two sexagenarian Jews and a couple of guys dressed up like Ace Frehley and Peter Criss without pyro? I mean you might as well make the residents of an old age home dance around to “Calling Dr. Love.” It would be roughly the same experience.

-AR