WE HAVE REACHED THE NADIR OF HUMAN CULTURE

The happy couple

Chad Kroeger from Nickelsuck is engaged to Avril Lavigne, which I guess makes sense, since they’re both Canadian, they’re both terrible, and one looks like a little boy  while the other looks like a pedophile. And I know I’m being alarmist, but as soon as I heard the news I flashed forward to a future in which Scotchtape Lavigne-Kroeger (or whatever stupid name they give their wretched spawn) is now the biggest sensation in the world, the beneficiary of hand-me-down fame. The fucking kid won’t even have to sing, really; it will just have to be on some reality show about how horrible it is and CHA-CHING!

In any case, they’ve apparently been dating in secret for six months, so I give this marriage three, rugrat or no rugrat. Who wants to get a pool going?

-AR

[via Zena Metal]