MATCHES 9-12: JOHANN HEGG VS. IRON LUNG, DIMEBAG VS. PAUL SPECKMANN, STEVE VON TILL VS. TIM MILLAR, MARK MORTON VS. PER WIBERG
While down n’ dirty deity Aaron Turner just barely managed to take down nu-metal numbskull Wayne Static, for the most part, yesterday’s match-ups were even less of a competition than those from the day before: Kerry King slayed All Shall Perish’s Eddie Hermida, Valient Thorr’s Valient Himself trampled Troy Sanders like a Mastodon, and Jonathan Athon shoved his black tusk so far up Nick Oliveri’s ass he’s gonna need a machine gun and a hostage to get it out.
Will today’s matches be any tougher for the competitors? Vote after the jump!The polls close tomorrow, July 12, at 5 pm EST. May the best beard win!!!
JOHANN HEGG VS. IRON LUNG
Scissorfight’s Iron Lung may be an unconventional harvester — but is he unconventional enough to survive an attack by the mighty viking Johann Hegg of Amon Amarth fame? Hegg has to be one of the top seeded competitors in the entire bracket, and it may take a miracle for even a ball-buster of a beard like Lung’s to survive…
DIMEBAG VS. PAUL SPECKMANN
Dime and Speckmann have a lot in common: they both rose to prominence during the same era, they both play stringed instruments, and both their beards are multi-colored. If you don’t vote for Dime, chances are his feelings won’t be hurt; but if you don’t vote for Dime, you could end up punished in the afterlife, and forced to spend an eternity listening to Paul Anka. Choose your fate carefully…
STEVE VON TILL VS. TIM MILLAR
In a better time, the beards of Neurosis’ Steve Von Till and Protest the Hero’s Tim Millar would be working together to help the world grow more awesome facial hair. But these aren’t better times — and so while two bears will enter, only one can leave. Who will survive? You decide!
MARK MORTON VS. PER WIBERG
This battle is going to come down to raw mass (Morton) versus polished style (Wiberg). Both are certainly impressive, and the amount of styling gel Wiberg needs to maintain his ‘stache could be an asset (too slippery to catch!) or a weakness (what happens if he runs out of gel?!?). Do you wanna go the full macho, or allow a little pizzaz into your life? Vote now!
THE BRACKET SO FAR (click to enlarge):
