AVENGED SEVENFOLD VOCALIST COLLABORATES WITH MUPPET

I don’t know who I’m more disappointed in right now: M. Shadows or Fozzy Bear.

See, I got real excited when I heard that Shadows was doing guest vocals on a new Fozzy song called “Sandpaper.” I mean, who doesn’t love The Muppets, right? I’m old, but not too old to let my inner kid run around sometimes. And Avenged Sevenfold are friggin’ sweet! And the world could totally use a good educational song about sandpaper, right? Like, how else would you explain to a little kid why this kind of paper is of such value to our society? So I was all like, “YES! THIS IS GONNA RULE!”

But the song is HORRIBLE. And I dunno why, but Fozzy sounds NOTHING like the way he usually does. I dunno if it’s ‘cuz Jim Henson is partying in Heaven with Jesus and Dime and Dio now, or if it’s the autotune thing Axl keeps gettin’ all pissy about, but I can’t even tell which one is s’posed to BE Fozzy. Maybe he doesn’t sing on this track? Maybe he just plays an instrument or whatever. But he was never in The Muppets band so that don’t make good sense.

Oh well. At least the lyrics are hilarious!

-DN