ROB ZOMBIE IS MAKING A HOCKEY MOVIE

Rob Zombie has already written and directed five feature films, all of which are horror movies, two of which I remember being good, one of which I think is probably actually pretty good. But I guess he feels like he’s contributed all he can to that genre for now, because he’s announced he’s going to turn his attention to a different kind of on-screen violence — namely, professional hockey.

According Deadline, Zombie is now set to write and direct Broad Street Bullies,” a film about the Philadelphia Flyers hockey team that evolved from a cellar-dwelling expansion team into a team that racked up victories and penalty minutes in equal measure during the 1970s.” And I know even less about hockey than I do about most other sports, but apparently this team was interesting for a number of reasons:

“The physical play of the Flyers was legendary, to the point that when they played the Soviet Union’s supposedly invincible and tough Red Army team, the Flyers roughed them up so badly that the Russian team left the ice in the first period, and only returned when told they would not get paid if they didn’t. The Flyers won the game 4-1, with head coach Fred Shero proclaiming, “Yes we are world champions. If they had won, they would have been world champions. We beat the hell out of a machine.” Despite being known as Freddy’s Philistines because of the work of enforcers like Dave Schultz, the Flyers had skilled players like Bobby Clarke and won back-to-back Stanley Cup championships in two-fisted fashion.”

Well, as far as movies we’ve already seen eighteen times go, that does sound like a pretty good idea. The one thing that worries me — besides Zombie’s spotty track record as a filmmaker, I mean — is that he’s working with ” the full support of the Flyers organization,” which is usually code for “they won’t sue us and we’ll whitewash some of the nastier details while maintaing just enough character flaws to make the whole thing seem authentic.” Like how in that Biggie movie that his mom produced, he calls everyone he’s feuding with and makes good just ten minutes before getting shot? Yeah that seems plausible.

In any case, I look forward to seeing which one of the Flyers’ wives Sheri Moon Zombie plays.

-AR