POLL: WHICH VERSION OF “PARADISE CITY” IS SH*TTIER, TOM CRUISE’S OR SLASH’S?
Speaking of shittiness that has come about due to the Rock of Ages movie…
A couple of weeks ago we learned that Tom Cruise sings the classic Guns N’ Roses anthem “Paradise City” on the Rock of Ages soundtrack. And my concern, based on Cruise’s performance of Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar on Me” from that same soundtrack, was that it would end up sounding like a robot covering GN’R.
Well, I was wrong. It doesn’t sound like a robot singing.
It sounds like a woman.
Like, if you told me this was a Milli Vanilli situation, and Tom Cruise was just lip-synching to a lady session vocalist, I would 100% believe you.
She’s not a bad singer, either. I think her performance could have a little more menace, though.
Now, in my mind, this affirms my original suspicion: That a horrible Tom Cruise version of “Paradise City” would still be better than that version Slash did with Cypress Hill and Fergie a couple of years back. I guess the pro-Slash argument would be that a) at least he’s trying something different, and b) that since he played on the original, he can do whatever the fuck he wants with it. But for me at least, those arguments don’t outweigh the counter-arguments, which would be a) you’d think since he played on the original, he’d have some respect for it, and not just treat it like a fucking commodity, and b) in case there’s any doubt that Slash is not a great songwriter or the best judge of his own work, the fact that he didn’t wanna record “Estranged” but thought this was a good idea just about proves it.
I mean, at least if the Tom Cruise version were the backing track at a karaoke bar, I’d probably never even notice it. Whereas Slash’s version just makes me wanna join the staff of Entertainment Weekly and give up on life.
But, hey, as always, I encourage you to make up your own mind about which version sucks worse. Here they are side by side:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DACtPrg0K4g
So now I ask you, beloved readers:
I leave it to you to decide.
If mommy didn’t hug you enough or something, you can stream the entire Rock of Ages soundtrack here.
-AR
