NOW FOR SALE ON EBAY: BLACK SABBATH’S INTEGRITY

Needless to say, some fans are really, really pissed that the Black Sabbath reunion is moving forward without Bill Ward. Like an eBay seller going by the name bryan.johnson970, who is currently auctioning off Black Sabbath’s integrity… in the form of  a plastic dog turd. Sounds about right.

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Rest assured, though, this isn’t some jokester trying to profit from Black Sabbath’s inner-band business failings — this is some jokester trying to raise money for charity. Here’s the product description from the auction:

Exclusive charity auction for the “Integrity of Black Sabbath” as represented by a plastic dog turd.

On 11/11/11, having undergone 5286 line up changes it was announced that Black Sabbath would undertake a world tour with the legendary, original line up. During what are now very austere times for a large percentage of the world’s population, thousands of fans bought expensive tickets for these shows. However, at a later date the fans learned that Bill Ward the drummer would not be playing on any of the reunion shows, as it transpired that he would unfairly not be getting an equal cut of the profits of the tour.

As a fan of the original Sabbath for over 30 years, I find that the way that they are trying to rip off both Bill Ward and the hundreds of thousands of loyal fans across the planet is unacceptable and appalling. Therefore, I am conducting this auction for what I consider to be Black Sabbath’s integrity as represented in the guise of a plastic dog turd.

Please note that the payment of the winning bid (minus any fees ebay charge me) will be donated to the charity Help The Aged. I can also assure you that absolutely none of the money will go to greedy ageing rock stars or their management, they have taken enough of our money and won’t be getting anymore.

“Well you can’t do a reunion without the originals, can you?”  Lemmy Kilmister.

As of this writing, the seller has seventeen bids, and the current asking price is £21.00, or approximately $33. Seems about right.

Go here to bid.

-AR

Thanks to Clayton for the tip!