AMERICAN HEAD CHARGE RELEASE FIRST NEW SONG SEVEN YEARS!!!

I don’t really think that’s terrific news or anything. Mostly, I just thought it would be funny to write that headline as though it were terrific news — y’know, the way we might if At the Gates or Faith No More had released a new song. Because American Head Charge aren’t as good as At the Gates or Faith No More. Get it?

ANYWAY, the song is called “Sugars of Someday,” and, yes, it’s awful.

In all fairness to the band, though, it’s awful in a different way than their old material was awful. The band seems to have taken a page from Marilyn Manson’s playbook — always a grand idea! — and traded their high octane industrial sound (Excuse my phrasing, I’m practicing for a career as a publicist of incredibly untalented bands) for a more low-key brand of pop rock that white people who don’t know any better might theoretically be able to dance to. It’s almost as though the band decided that what they really want isn’t to be some Nine Inch Nails-Korn hybrid, but, rather, the Deftones (the vocals are very Chino Moreno-esque). But, no, that doesn’t seem to have worked out for them, either.

You can listen to the track here, assuming everything I’ve written thus far has somehow made you wanna give it a shot. I know some of you bastards are really suckers for punishment.

I’m sure the band has a new album coming out or is going on tour or something but I honestly didn’t read the accompanying article, I just listened to the song, briefly contemplated quitting MetalSucks to go to dental school, and then wrote this.

-AR