TED NUGENT IS GUILTY!!! (OF ILLEGALLY KILLING A BEAR)

Ted Nugent may be off the hook for blatantly threatening to murder President Barack Obama, but that doesn’t mean he’s above the law. According to Noisecreep, the guitarist and pedophile has “plead guilty to transporting a black bear he illegally killed in southeast Alaska” while filming his television show (Ted Nugent has a television show?), Spirit of the Wild.

Unfortunately, no one’s favorite redneck won’t do jail time. But he will pay a $10,000 fine, be disallowed from hunting or fishing in Alaska or Forest Service properties for a year, be on probation for two years, and have to shoot a PSA to “discuss the importance of a hunter’s responsibility in knowing the rules and regulations of the hunting activities,” and allow that PSA to run on his show every other week for a year. That’s actually my favorite part, ’cause I’m sure it will just kill Ted to have to shoot that thing. ‘Cause clearly, this is a man who believes he should be allowed to kill anything he wants… so long as it’s black.

-AR