IN WHICH OUR MOM YELLED AT US FOR NOT CONTRIBUTING ANYTHING TO SOCIETY

I mean, c’mon, that lil’ shit had it coming.

So much happened this week, it’s hard to pick our top stories! Let’s give it a shot though:

• We completed our list of The Top 25 Modern Metal Drummers.
• Dave Mustaine had a big week: first we learn that he’s a Birther who owns a pony. Then he was told to “Shut the fuck up” by GWAR’s Oderus Urungus, and then we got ahold of this 2008 memo, in which it’s revealed that Mustaine wanted militant, violent anti-Obama designs for Megadeth’s merch.
• Protest the Hero’s Luke Hoskin told us about his live gear and God Forbid’s Doc Coyle told us about the NBA.
• We spoke to Al Jourgensen from Ministry, Martin Lopez (ex-Opeth) from Soen, and Reed Mullin from Corrosion of Conformity.
• We checked out the latest release from Aura Noir, and hardcore 7″s from Noose, Bitternes Exhumed, and Power Trip.
• We fought to have Euronymous’ face painted on the side of the Norwegian Airlines fleet.
• We felt bad for this poor dude whose mom told him that music is “worthless.”
• We learned what would happen if metal lyrics were polite.
• We also learned how metalheads paint a room.
• We made fun of Trent Reznor for that time that Nine Inch Nails were on Dance Party USA.

Next week brings more debuts, more interviews, more shit to make you crazy with rage and/or laughter. ‘Til then…

-AR