MIDGETCORE MAY BE THE WORST CORE YET

I’m not the kind of person who thinks little people are funny just ’cause they’re little — for example, Verne Troyer isn’t funny under any circumstances despite being tiny, and I wouldn’t fuck with Peter Dinklage, of whom I am in awe.

That being said, this band Auburn is fucking terrible in kind of a funny way, and not just because they chose the name “Auburn” for their band, either. And I do wonder what it’s like to be in a band where you are going to be best remembered not for your work, but for the fact that one of your guitar players is a dwarf. It must be so limiting, right? Like, if whatever lady is in Winds of Plague this week leaves the band, Winds of Plague will have to go find another female keyboardist, which is probably not that difficult a task because there’s no shortage of women in the world and, perhaps more importantly, no shortage of women who are willing to pose provocatively for Revolver and not actually contribute anything to the music. But if your little person leaves your band and he’s the only reason anyone ever paid attention to you, you’re fucked, right? Not that there’s necessarily a shortage (no pun intended) of little people, but I imagine there are a finite number of them in the world who a) play guitar, b) play metal guitar, and c) would be willing to be in your incredibly shitty band.

These are the kinds of things I think about when I see shit like this. I think it’s a defense mechanism against having to, y’know, listen to the fucking awful music.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?&v=jjUJmaEa3v8

-AR

[via Stuff You Will Hate]