VOCALISTS: NOW YOU CAN BE THE NEW HAUNTED SINGER EVERYONE FORGETS ABOUT IN TWO YEARS!
So yesterday Peter Dolving announced that he has quit The Haunted, and I was like, “Oh, they should totally just get Marco Aro back, ’cause I don’t think he’s busy, and third vocalists never work out.” And then a bunch of people in the comments section were all “Actually Marco is busy, ’cause he’s in this band The Resistance with Jesper Strömblad now,” to which I reply, “Soooo… you’re saying Aro is available?” ‘Cause let’s be real — Aro being in The Resistance makes him “busy” the way Jesse Leach being in Empire Shall Fall made him “busy.” You’re never too busy to re-join a band that actually has a substantial following, y’know?
ANYWAY, I obviously have no idea what’s going on behind-the-scenes in The Haunted, but the band posted the following message on their Facebook page this morning:
“The Haunted is looking for a new voice…
“Serious applicants please send your submissions, including two songs from the Haunted back catalogue and a few words to describe yourself.
“Images & links to performance video clips are much appreciated and will be most valuable in the screening process.”
Now, first of all, I think it’s important to note that just because The Haunted are auditioning new singers doesn’t mean they won’t end up Aro back in the band. Remember that Killswitch Engage auditioned new singers after splitting with Howard Jones, too. This could just be a “playing it safe” kinda thing while they try to figure shit out with Aro.
And I sincerely hope that’s what’s going on. Because as we keep saying, bands can get away with switching vocalists once (if that — see: John Corabi), but not more — if you’re the third or fourth vocalist in a well-known band, you are fucked, and your legacy will be to work your ass off on something most fans will disregard, discard, and eventually forget altogether. When Ronnie James Dio passed away, nobody said, “Wow, I sure do hope that Tony and Geezer get back together with Tony Martin now.” (I mean, someone might have said that, but that person is obviously very lonely.) Like, if the new singer for The Haunted has not been previously employed as a singer for The Haunted, I am going to feel very bad for him.
(I guess the one exception MIGHT be if the band can land a big name… for example, if, by some miracle, Anders Fridén or Tomas Lindberg was named as the group’s new vocalist, I presume that fans would at least be intrigued. But even then, it’s a risk — I mean, it’s not like people had never heard of Ian Gillan or Gary Cherone before those guys joined Sabbath and Van Halen, respectively.)
But if you wanna apply for this almost-sure-to-be-thankless job, you can send your audition materials to [email protected]. I wish you the best of luck, and apologize for all the making fun of you I am going to do when you’re kicked out of the band sometime in 2014.
-AR
