KILLSWITCH ENGAGE’S NEW SINGER IS ACTUALLY A RUSSIAN BANKER

UPDATE, 11:54am: KillswitchEngage.com is back to normal. Oh well — it was hilarious while it lasted.

Original post:

Looks like Killswitch Engage have finally settled on their man to replace departed vocalist Howard Jones; after a long, drawn-out deliberation — including a public fakeout re-hiring of Jesse Leach — Adam D., Joel Stroetzel, Mike D’Antonio and Justin Foley (not that one) have selected self-made Russian banker Sergey Mavrodi as their new lead singer! They announced the news on their official website, KillswitchEngage.com, earlier this week.

Either that or they just forgot to renew their domain name.

Chrome’s built-in translator didn’t work for some reason, but don’t worry — there’s a button in the upper-right corner of the site that allows you to translate the site’s copy from Russian into 15 other languages! Sergey thought of everything, including a high-traffic prime SEO domain name that recently came on the market. Maybe he even knew snarky metal blogs like this one would link to him in jest. I like this guy already!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=DeK76baFIzE

This Sergey guy is quite the entrepreneur. He’s advertising the “Mavrodi Money Machine,” which from what I can gather is basically a pyramid scheme — put money in, convince others to do the same underneath you, have them repeat the process, and watch the profits roll in exponentially. “Everybody Gets Paid!!!” the website boasts. And as Sergey stares you down mugshot-style with those made-in-1991 eyeglasses, how can you argue with that??

Common sense, perhaps.

I’ll bet the Killswitch dudes and their handlers are pretty miffed at Mr. Mavrodi right now. The best way they could possibly proceed would be to have fun with this; get the guy to send in a YouTube vocal cover of a KsE song or something of the like. How awesome would that be?

-VN

Thanks: Kyle Brahe