“I’D BE SURPRISED IF THEY HAVE, LIKE, ONE WHOLE TESTICLE IN THE WHOLE BAND”

Here’s the funniest thing you’ll see all day.

Hopefully you all remember Dave Hill, The King of Metal, from the hilarious Metal Injection interviews he did with fans outside a Testament concert in 2008; if not, you should absolutely watch that video first and then watch this one, ’cause it’s fucking hilarious.

But Hill has really outdone himself this time. See, now Metal Injection sent him some modern black metal, and no, he did not enjoy it, not one bit. He has nothing but horrible things to say about Valdur (“Turn this off, I’m gonna puke all over myself”), Liturgy (“I’ve heard lesbian folk groups that are more black metal than this”), Mgla (“I’ve written better black metal songs just by eating a burrito and farting”), Krallice (“Oh, I think an Avenged Sevenfold song must have gotten on here somehow by accident”), Castevet (“These guys sound like they’re waiting for the rest of the band to show up to practice” ), and Woe (“Is this band’s album only for sale at Hot Topic?” ). And while I don’t agree with all of his assessments of the material — I loves me some Krallice, for example — I do appreciate anyone this vitriolic. A man after my own heart, Hill is. Or, I guess I’m after Hill’s own heart, since he’s The King. But you get what I’m saying.

ANYWAY, click on the below screen cap to check out the video. It is truly a must-watch.

-AR