CELTIC FROST REUNITE, HIT THE BAR MITZVAH CIRCUIT

We can’t say we saw this one coming, but with former Satan-worshipping metal musicians left and right claiming to have found God I guess we shouldn’t be that surprised; Tom G. Warrior has reunited Celtic Frost to play a one-off gig at the Bar Mitzvah of one lucky Shlomo Needlebaum. The website Tyranny of Tradition has the exclusive news break:

At first, Thomas Gabriel Warrior (or Fischer, as most adults like to call him) was dead set against the idea.  However, the chance to help a fan like Shlomo start the exciting journey into adult life along with a check for 50,000 dollars helped Warrior change his tune.  Warrior’s love of the traditions of Judaism were also a major influence on his decision.  “I have always had a special place in my heart for the Jewish people and particularly their traditions,” said Warrior decked out in corpse paint and a yarmulke before he strode on stage, “I often think of the great quote by the German poet Berthold Auerbach who said ‘Judaism lives not in an abstract creed, but in its institutions’.  UGH!”

In other news, Daves Mustaine and Ellefson are said to be catering the event with their propriety recipes for latkes, kugel, brisket, and smoked salmon they cure themselves in Megadeth’s rehearsal space. The Bar Mitzvah is BYOM (Bring Your Own Manischewitz).

-VN