GUNS N’ ROSES TO BE INDUCTED INTO MEANINGLESS ORGANIZATION’S MAUSOLEUM
I woke up this morning to a seemingly endless number of headlines announcing that Guns N’ Roses have, indeed, been voted into the Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame, and I’m as baffled by all the excitement now as I was when the band first became eligible for induction.
What is everyone so worked up about? Is it the prestige of the thing? Getting into the Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame is as meaningless as winning a Grammy; I’d be more excited if GN’R were inducted into the Decibel Hall of Fame, ’cause at least then we’d get some awesome, in-depth interviews from the band members themselves. Is it the possibility of a reunion of the original members of GN’R? For the umpteenth time, get it into your skull: that ain’t gonna happen… at least not because some museum throws a big party in the band’s honor. Just last month, Axl Rose went on That Metal Show and said that Slash should have quit GN’R after the release of the Lies EP, and, when asked about the possible RN’R HOF induction, said he knew there were fans who were excited by the prospect, and he was “happy for them.” Do those sound like the words of a man who a) is going to make nice with his former guitar player sometime real soon and b) gives two fucks about the Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame? Even Steven Adler doesn’t think that all five of them will show up for this thing, and that guy’s entire life is based around hoping and praying for a reunion!!!
No no no. The only real reason to be excited by this news is because, if we’re very, very lucky, Slash, Duff McKagan, Steven Adler, and Izzy Stradlin will all show up for this thing, and Matt “I’ve Been Using One Drum Fill for Twenty Years” Sorum will break his wrist or something, and we’ll get at least one performance out of a version of Velvet Revolver that is superior to the actual Velvet Revolver. (I have little doubt that everyone but Izzy will show up; unfortunately, Stradlin is almost as reclusive as Rose, so who knows if he can be bothered to make an appearance or not.) Maybe they’ll actually get someone cool (i.e., not a member of Fuel) to sing for them, too.
Otherwise, y’know. This.
-AR
