RANDOM-ASS CINEMETAL NEWS: FRED DURST GETS A SH*TCOM, ONE OF THE WEST MEMPHIS TO APPEAR IN THE HOBBIT?

Well, here’s two pieces of news I think you’ll find to be completely bizarre, albeit in very different ways —

• Fred Durst has tried rapping, singing, and directing, but the next artistic skill he will go out of his way to prove he does not have is acting: Deadline reports that the Limp Bizkit front dude “has signed his first ever TV deal with CBS and CBS TV Studios.” The show takes its working title, Douchebag, from one of the tracks on Bizkit’s recent reunion release, Gold Cobra — although I find it hard to imagine that CBS will ever allow it air with that name. (Then again, CBS is the network that brings us such high-class programs as Two and a Half Men and CSI, so anything is possible I guess.) Written by Matthew Carlson — whose last show, the Matthew Perry vehicle Mr. Sunshine, was cancelled after a single season — the story will be about a rock star trying to balance his celebrity with his family life, a conflict to which every American can surely relate. But here’s where things get especially, um, douchie: Durst’s manager, John Schneider — who will also be a producer on the project — recently “developed a family comedy with the same auspices, which was inspired by [his brother] Rob Schneider’s real-life experiences”… and that show will begin airing on CBS midseason this year. So this guy just sold the same show twice, each time with a less-talented lead. I mean, how could you NOT love Hollywood?
• Meanwhile, indieWIRE says that Damien Echols — one-third of the recently-released West Memphis Three — may end up with a small role in The Hobbit. (I’m not gonna explain what The Hobbit is; I assume you all know or, if you somehow do not, can use Google like big boys and girls.) Echols is apparently on the New Zealand set even as I type this, visiting the filmmaking couple/team of Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh, who, it was only recently revealed, had been quietly helping to fund the West Memphis Three’s legal crusade for years. I’m sure Echols’ role, if it comes to fruition, won’t be very big, and no one should deny the dude a moment of fun in the spotlight — if anyone has earned it, it’s him.