JACK WHITE LICKS THE INSANE CLOWN POSSE’S ASS

Well, I feel vindicated.

See, I’ve been telling friends that Jack White was an idiot for years. YEARS. Like, pretty much since the first time I saw/heard The White Stripes. (In fact, I was opposed to entire movement of “The Plural” bands of the early aughties — see: The Hives, The Strokes, The Vines, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Fuck Your Mothers, etc.)  “Fuck this guy!” I declared. “What a tool!”

“NO!” screamed back many of my friends and fellow appreciators of fine music. “JACK WHITE IS THE SAVIOR OF ROCK N’ ROLL!!!” Fuck, Rolling Drone said he was a better guitar player than Eddie Van Halen, which I think is roughly the equivalent of saying your niece who made that adorable fingerpainting on your fridge is a better painter than Da Vinci. For roughly the past ten years or so, I have just been astounded by how much praise has been heaped on this yutz.

And now Jack White is collaborating on a new album with the Insane Clown Posse.

So, clearly, I won that argument.

From Spin:

The record will be their interpretation of a lesser known Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart piece from 1782 called “Leck Mich Im Arsch,” which is literally translated as “Lick me in the arse.”…

According to a press release, the 2011 version of “Leck Mich Im Arsch” marries “Mozart’s melody and lyrics sung in operatic German with ICP’s poignant lyrical addition in English and Jeff the B’s monster-riffs.” The B-side of the single is “Mountain Girl,” an original composition, which has ICP’s Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope dropping verses about country life — shotgun weddings, meth addiction, and moonshine.

I think right now a lot of people are all, “Why the hell would Jack White do this?” And the answer is simple — it’s a publicity stunt. ICP are a hot topic (no pun intended) right now, and White knew that this collaboration would make headlines — which, of course, it has. White isn’t above being theatrical — he wears costumes and pretended his wife was his sister and dated the Leprechaun from Leprechaun Renée Zellweger, for fuck’s sake.

And there’s obviously nothing wrong with being theatrical — I listen to metal, which might be the most theatrical of all musical genres, for fuck’s sake. But this is why White always bothered me: He never for one second seemed sincere about any of it. I know it’s hard to prove someone’s sincerity, or lack thereof, but whereas you get the sense that, for example, the dudes in Watain genuinely enjoy coming off as Steven Sondheim’s worst nightmare, White… I dunno, dude as always just rubbed me the wrong way.

You can check out the track below; no shock, it’s pretty much the worst thing ever. If you hate starving children and want to throw your money away, White’s own label, Third Man Records, will release it as 7-inch single and iTunes download on September 13. I dunno why they don’t just release it on September 11, though, since there would be no better way to celebrate a national tragedy than to create another national tragedy.

Insane Clown Posse – Leck Mich Im Arsch by Third Man Records

-AR