WELL THANK F*CKING CHRIST, THERE’S A NEW STAIND SONG IN THE WORLD

If you’ve been pining for music that sounds like old Korn only with the dude from Nickelsuck singing the clean vocals instead of Mike Patton on barbiturates, boy oh boy, do we have a treat for you: “Paper Wings,” a new song by Staind.

I remember the first time I heard this band — I think it was around the time they did that power ballad with Fred Durst acting as hype man — I thought, “Man, it is going to be SO GRATIFYING when these dudes still have a career in ten years.” And I was right. It is. It is so very gratifying to know that there are enough people in the world who love this band for them to be able to continue making their wholly unique brand of rawk.

And the fact that they’ve made zero adjustments to their sound since first breaking onto the scene… this is why they have so much street cred. Because they never, ever strayed from their roots, no matter how close to a septic tank those roots have been planted.

So let’s have a hearty golf clap for Staind, the best band of this, or any, generation. Not only am I going to purchase their new, self-titled album when it comes out on September 13, but I am personally going to deliver a truck full of edible bouquets to each and every Atlantic Records employee who worked on the album.

-AR