I’D BE SCARED IF I WAS STUCK IN THIS TERRIBLE VIDEO, TOO

Aittala’s new video, for the song “Juliet,” is about how the band has to kidnap a groupie, because they’re so terrible that even being in a band can’t get them laid.

I’m kidding, of course. Being in a metal band will never get you laid. The fact that Aittala display  sub-high-school-talent-show levels of capability is only incidental to their sexlessness.

But seriously, this is awful. It’s the kind of thing that makes me wanna tease that the band has made the best video and song of 1996, but even in 1996, people had better taste than to listen to this garbage. The lyrics alone make me wanna sic Scott Ian on these dudes, but as a bonus, there’s also the horrendous vocals and embarrassing music, too. Wonderful.

-AR