VICTORY RECORDS SIGNS DESIGN THE SKYLINE [VIA TIME WARP TO 2008]

I am a big fan of leading independent music retailer VICTORY RECORDS. Back in the 90s, they gave us unfuckwithable classics of hardcore from bands like Earth Crisis, Bloodlet and One Life Crew, but they didn’t stop there! These days, they conduct themselves pretty much exactly like if someone gave me unlimited funds and told me to start a record label with the express purpose of trolling the fuck out of hardcore/metal fans.

For example, their latest signing makes Emmure and These Hearts look like heroes of the underground by comparison: Corpus Christi’s own DESIGN THE SKYLINE, who are partying like it’s 2008! As someone who misses the days when MySpace was still relevant, you couldn’t wear enough neon, and it was all about being scene as fuck, I am stoked to see this band join the Victory family, although I have to admit that it’s more than a little lulzy.

Cliffs:

• Members include “Dani Doom” on vocals and “Julian Reckless” on guitar. Who has a “scene name” in 2011?! And what is Brookelle Bones up to these days?
• Neon gauges (with matching guitar strings), skunk hair, and snakebite piercings all present, although no members have visible tattoos. Better get scripty chest tats pronto, brahs.
• In Chile they call these kids Pokemones, presumably because their hair looks like Pikachu. See also MexiAlts.
• The slam part at 1:00 is kinda legit (srs)
• I almost feel bad that nobody told these kids that scene is dead, because they probably think they are going to be rockstars.
• This band is labelmates with Jungle Rot, Fury Of Five, Pathology, and Integrity.

What do you think of DESIGN THE SKYLINE?? How many records will this band sell? Is it possible that they are doing an ironic “2007 REVIVAL” shtick??? What do you think Mean Steve and Stickman would think of them???? Did you read the Kiki Kannibal story in Rolling Stone??

-Sergeant D.

Sergeant D. is scene as fuck every day at Stuff You Will Hate.