FORMER MS “SH*TSTAINS” VAMPIRES EVERYWHERE ARE GOING TO SELL A SH*T TON OF RECORDS, AREN’T THEY?

Not that record sales alone are really a barometer of very much these days, and not that the majority of Vampires Everywhere’s fans are of record-buying-age (it’s like the new drinking age), but the amount of units Kiss the Sun Goodbye (lawlz!) shifts when it comes out tomorrow should give some indication of how many t-shirts, VE makeup kits, fangs and vampire belt buckles have been sold, right? Let the merch empire begin.

In any case, this is the first I’ve heard of Vampires Everywhere’s music since we brought the band to Century Media’s attention last year. Considering the fact that this music barely constitutes metal, I have to say that it’s a lot less offensive to metal than I’d originally thought it would be. It’s pop-emo — basically Paramore with a male (but no less pretty) vocalist — but it’s terrible any way you chose to classify it. At least Zena Metal will be happy.

-VN