A NON-METAL FAN REVIEWS THE BIG 4 SHOW

Okay so I know we’ve just about run this Big 4 shit into the ground this week, but this is so priceless I just had to share it.

My friend, who we will refer to here only as M.A., lives in Los Angeles, and is not a metalhead. But her boyfriend is — or, at least, he’s a fan of certain bands from a certain era — and so it was with some curiosity that she accompanied him this past weekend to the Big 4 show in California.

So I shot her an e-mail this morning to see how she liked the show. What follows is her response. As metal fan, you will most certainly appreciate all her observations about the show:

Big 4 was… an experience. I think I spent more time eyeing the crowd than I did the bands. Great people-watching. There were like two black dudes in the crowd. Crazy. Slayer fans seemed to win the award for most ridiculous/insane looking fans. When other bands were performing they would just walk around screaming, “SLAYYYYYERRRR!” We didn’t get too close to the stage, so there was no chaos or madness around us really except for the occasional mini-mosh which seemed to involve two guys bumping shoulders. No one pushed or poked me, so I was content. I can’t say I “dug” Metallica but being that their songs are way more melodic than Slayer (and I recognized many of them) I enjoyed it the most. I remembered what you said about James’ voice [I told her his vocals suck now. I also said Lars can’t play the drums, but I guess she forgot. -AR] and there were notes he clearly could no longer hit, but for the most part I thought he sounded pretty good. The guys I went with who are fans had a great time.

So, to answer your question, if I never hear a metal song again, it will be too soon. But I’m still glad I went.

Question: Practically everyone there was high. I don’t really smoke pot, so maybe I just don’t get it, but if it’s supposed to mellow you out, why would it heighten the experience to listen to that kind of music and get high? I get why you would when you listen to Radiohead, but it seemed odd for metal.

I’m gonna go smoke some pot while I contemplate how to respond to this.

-AR