READER’S CHOICE: THE METAL BANDS FROM MAINE THAT AREN’T LAST CHANCE TO REASON EDITION

Thrilled to see Last Chance to Reason getting some recognition, reader Kyle Bragg has now sent us some other metal bands from Maine, in hopes that the state “will start to be recognized for things other than lobsters, blueberries, and being confused as part of Canada.” I dunno, Kyle — your lobsters are fucking delicious! I could eat five right now, no problem.

But okay, okay, we’ll give this a shot. Let’s see if any of the bands Kyle suggested can, indeed, make me forget about lobster.

Robocop — This band is on J. Randall’s Grindcore Karaoke imprint, and they’re far away the best band on this list. The intro track is like the most awesomest sludge song ever, and then the music turns into really dizzy, off-kilter, crazy-ass grind and sludge-grind. Killer stuff. Grindcore Karaoke gives all its shit away for free, so go here to download this bad boy — it’s good, it won’t cost you a cent, it’s legal.

Terrible Old Man — Did you know that there are people who really, really like At the Gates? It’s true. Kinda unbelievable. I really thought I was the only one who was into that band. Huh. Well, I don’t mind just this one band aping them. As long as it doesn’t become a trend, y’know? It would get really boring if there were, like, an endless amount of bands that sounded just like this.

Hallowed Butchery — Is the one-man doom project of Terrible Old Man singer Ryan Fairfield, but it sounds like it’s amount a million times better than Terrible Old Man. Here I get the sense that Fairfield is trying to do something listener’s won’t have heard before; obviously there are influences, but they’re not as cock-slap-you-in-the-face obvious.

Absence of the Sun — Some of it sounds kinda like Insomnium, and some of it sounds kinda like a million Swedish melodeath bands and a million other American bands trying to be Swedish melodeath bands, and none of it is terrible but none of it is remarkable. The clean vocals have got to go. I’m getting really tired of typing that phrase. I’m sure some of you are thinking “Well, Axl, learn to like clean vocals,” but I do like clean vocals. I do not like clean vocals that sound like some emo key has been autotuned to death. None of these bands benefit from that shit.

In conclusion:

-AR