VINCE NEIL IS A PUSSY

Hey, remember how Vince Neil assaulted his ex in Vegas last week? (Sorry, I’m supposed to say “allegedly assaulted” his ex.) Well, now the dude — who has nothing if not chutzpah — is claiming that said ex, future-Pulitzer Prize winning journalist Alicia Jacobs, actually assaulted him. And TMZ has the photo to prove it:

Uh… is that real? It looks like someone just sprinkled some ketchup on his arm. I’ve had paper cuts that looked more damaging.

Meanwhile, TMZ also has photos of Jacobs’ bruises from the alleged scuffle, and… well, honestly, they don’t look all that much worse. I’m not trying to make light of battered women or anything, and I think I’ve made it pretty clear that I’m all in favor of throwing Neil into a deep, dark hole and tossing away the key, but her injuries look kinda like an infected zit. But at least it’s a clear bruise, and not just some of Sammy Hagar’s hot sauce, y’know?

So I’m rooting for Jacobs to win this little tête–à-tête, but only by default. If the first thing your mother taught you wasn’t DON’T EVER DATE VINCE FUCKING NEIL, your mother failed you.

-AR